As women enter older adulthood, we are better educated, have more resources and choices and are living longer lives. As a mature woman, you can fully embrace the senior years of your life, and become a wise elder, or wise crone.
Becoming a wise woman, also called the wise crone, begins sometime after menopause. It really depends on the person. You might feel called to it in your sixties or not until your seventies. It might depend on when you retire from your job.
Women in older adulthood start to look back at their lives through the lens of relationships, compassion and care and responsibility towards others. You can also look forward to what you want your life to be in the future.
When you are young, you focus on your own development as a person. Your own interests take precedence over consideration for others. Our society is over focused on youth.
As you get older, you start to look at your responsibilities towards others and being more selfless. You become more of a nurturer. This can manifest as becoming a mother or getting involved in something you are passionate about. You make a choice to care for others.
In older adulthood, you have the time to focus on soul growth. Authenticity, integrity and connecting deeply with yourself and with others are all qualities of a mature woman. Wisdom and compassion take root and grow. They might manifest as social activism, grand-parenting or mentoring.
What Happens When You Enter Older Adulthood And Become A Wise Crone
Becoming Invisible Leads To Freedom
When you are moving into older adulthood, you will notice that you have become invisible to society. This can be a painful realization, as our society can be very focused on outward appearance.
You will start to notice that men and women, both young and old, are looking right past you. Gone are the days when you are being noticed as you pass by. There will come a time when you will become invisible. This can be truly devastating to some, especially if you’ve learned to rely on your power to attract and charm.
In order to grow into the next stage of your life, you must evolve from a superficial, outer-focused identity and create an inner beauty. Confidence, power and inner knowing rule this new phase of life.
Breaking Free From Societies Expectations
When you become a wise crone, you draw on your years of experience. You can free yourself from the societal expectations of how you should be and look. Self acceptance and the freedom to be who you really are now rule the day.
As you become a crone, you start to see through what is going on in the world around you. You can see the truth and have more clarity in life. No longer seeing the world through rose colored glasses gives you renewed insight. You form your own opinions and truths, and are less concerned about what others think.
In Older Adulthood, You Become More Selfish
Now is the time for you to figure out what is important to you. Instead of worrying about being a good child, student, girlfriend, friend, lover, wife, mother, employee, etc, it’s time to ask yourself what you want. Who do you want to be? Not what society wants or expects of you.
As you assert yourself more, you learn who you are at a new level. You start to search for inner meaning. What is really important?
Time To Reflect
You get to know yourself once again. Relying on your intuition and inner voice, you may find that you need more quiet time. Instead of asking others what they think, you start listening to your own counsel.
As you become the most authentic version of yourself, you might take up a new passion or project. Transforming to a wise woman, crone, you create a unique self. A wise self created from all your experiences, both positive and negative. This creates true confidence that others can learn from.
In our youth-focused society, it can be difficult to claim the role of elder, to be proud of that state and recognize the important contributions elders make.
Grief During Your Life Review Leads to Self Acceptance
As you reflect back on your life, there will probably be some grief work to do. Grief over what did and didn’t happen. It’s normal to review your life, with all its regrets and triumphs. The purpose of grief is to move into self-acceptance.
Accepting yourself, with all your flaws and good qualities, is what leads to a new spiritual identity.
You embrace growing older, and celebrate and accept what it means to be an aging woman.
How Ageism Effects Older Adulthood
Ageism is everywhere in western society. It is bound to impact you, especially as a woman. Older women are often pushed to the margins of society. This is made worse by our own internalized ageism.
As women become elders, crones and move into older adulthood, we have very few positive models and images of older women. In our youth-worshiping society, the message is one of contempt for the wise elder.
As aging women, we must find courage and strength in each other. That way, we can explore our new found spiritual growth through connecting and witnessing the changes we are going through.
Accepting Yourself as Wise Elder
Accepting our new identity, our aging selves, and reclaiming our strength and visibility as we move into older adulthood, will create a new spiritual practice. Together, we can welcome new growth and possibilities in ourselves. Becoming a wise crone is a way to become comfortable with who you are. That means accepting life changes, with your body and with new pathways in life. New ritual and spiritual renewal can follow.
If we celebrate and connect together, as wise elders, we can face the new challenges of living as crones in a culture that devalues us. As wise crones, we have wisdom to share.
Instead of living in fear and avoidance of social and physical signs of aging, we must cultivate a spiritual practice and identity that helps us come to terms with an aging self. Celebrate yourself as a divine aging woman and the divine within.
If you would like to learn more about eldering, and even perhaps join a circle of women, please reach out. I have offices in Torrance and Santa Monica, California. I also do teletherapy.
